Embrace Imperfection

The Secret to a Lasting Marriage
Deb Graham

When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner
every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made
breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and
extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if
anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom,
and ask me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him
smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite! When I got up from
the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for
burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby, I love burned
toast."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he
really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Debbie,
your momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And
besides¬a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!"

In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner...and the kindness
my daddy showed my mom. To this day, it's a cherished memory from my
childhood that I'll never forget. And it's one that came to mind just
recently when Jack and I sat down to eat dinner.

I had arrived home late...as usual...and decided we would have breakfast
food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose!

To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly began to cook
eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast. Thinking I had things under
control, I glanced through the mail for the day. It was only a few minutes
later that I remembered that I had forgotten to take the toast out of the
oven!

Now, had it been any other day -- and had we had more than two pieces of
bread in the entire house -- I would have started all over. But it had been
one of those days and I had just used up the last two pieces of bread. So
burnt toast it was!

As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment about the
toast. But all I got was a "Thank you!" I watched as he ate bite by bite,
all the time waiting for some comment about the toast. But instead, all Jack
said was, "Babe, this is great. Thanks for cooking tonight. I know you had a
hard day."

As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my mom and
dad...how burnt toast hadn't been a deal-breaker for them. And I quietly
thanked God for giving me a marriage where burnt toast wasn't a deal-breaker
either!

You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people. I'm not
the best housekeeper or cook. And you might be surprised to find out that
Jack isn't the perfect husband! He likes to play his music too loud, he will
always find a way to avoid yard work, he watches far too many sports & play
the whole night with warcraft. Believe it or not, watching "Golf Academy" is
not my idea of a great night at home!

But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept the
imperfections in each other. Over time, we have stopped trying to make each
other in our own mold and have learned to celebrate our differences. You
might say that we've learned to love each other for who we really are!

For example, I like to take my time, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm
even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too little. Jack, on the
other hand, is disciplined, studious, an early riser, and is a marketer's
dream consumer. I count pennies and Jack could care less! Where he is
strong, I am weak, and vice versa.

And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we're also very much
alike. I can look at him and tell you what he's thinking. I can predict his
actions before he finalizes his plans. On the other hand, he knows whether
I'm troubled or not the moment I enter a room.

We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are still best
friends. We've traveled through many valleys and enjoyed many mountaintops.
And yet, at the same time, Jack and I must work every minute of every day to
make this thing called "marriage" work!

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's
faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of
the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting marriage
relationship.

Awwww... this story really inspired me. Just want to quote this from arman.

" I know she will be my perfect wife. She cooks very good food! Loves kids, very thoughtful, and we're in love with each other. She knows when I'm mad, she knows what I want, I understand when she's out of the mood, and knows how to make her smile. Just a perfect balance between our moods. "

Awwwww...

Just Watch out for the burned toast baby! :P <3<3<3